raps[The video feed pops on abruptly and almost immediately someone is speaking - it’s Jade. She’s up close to the feed, sitting on what looks to be a couch but neither of her hands is holding the communications device. You can see around her apartment as the device is slowly being moved around. All sorts of plush toys are on the floor - most of which resemble some kind of squid or they are half-man and half-animal. There are no puppets around. Jade looks really enthralled by something.] Dave! You have to tell me everything, okay? Where does he live, who are his friends? Does he eat other animals?
[You can’t see him, but the moment he speaks it’s pretty obvious who’s doing this since the voice is right up in there. He doesn’t sound particularly excited - but he’s not tired, like has been. He goes on to describe stuff in his typical monotone voice.] Sure, Jade. No problem. Okay, so like... he lives in this sweet pad on Moontail Island. Like his village is called Whiskers Peak, dude, and he is the coolest dude there. All of the bros there adore him. Like there is Swong Cawtate, who’s half-bird and half-dragonfly, and Brare Coondog - dude’s almost all bear with the furriest forepaws of them all - and a whole fucking crew of people he chills. But see, like, Awkete is the mightiest of all the furrsonas right? So he’s always got to deal with all this jealousy and shit because he’s the best at gathering the Frou Frou Fruit that they use to season all the poor little squirrels and other critters they eat with. But don’t worry, Jade, he’s got this totally sweet best friend that always has his back - Taloum Bushgrowl.
[She sits up in excitement -- this isn’t someone she’s heard of before.] Taloum Bushgrowl? Who’s that?
[The video feed shakes a little as Dave flips the camera around, to give you a glimpse of his smug face. He looks the same as always - still wearing his sunglasses with a mostly neutral look on his face. He grins, just a little bit, as he starts to speak.] Oh dude, so she is the chick that has the thickest fur in the village. Like basically everyone is tripping over themselves wishing they could be as furry as her. She’s covered in this thick ass coat of awesome grey fur and she’s part-canine and part-rabbit and about a hundred other different animals too. And yeah, she’s Awkete’s best friend and they go romping together through the moonlight in the tall grass of the fields.
[The camera focuses on Jade once again. With all the flipping around, it becomes obvious that the two of them are sitting right next to each other on the couch. And yeah, both seem to be having a pretty good time discussing this subject matter.] Ooooooh, Dave, she sounds really cool! Awkete has the best friend ever. Just like me, right? Is she really nice, too? Or is she super cool with sunglasses?
Actually, Jade, I don’t know much about her yet. Like I just started crafting this particular furrsona out. Maybe you could toss some ideas my way. Like tell me what you think she should be like. Like, if you wanted to, she could be your furrsona. So develop the fuck out of her. Hahaha.
Oh... [She thinks about this, her face very serious.] I think she is really friendly! She has a million friends, but her favorite friend is Awkete, because he’s awesome! And she lives next door to him, and likes to come over so that they can hunt together! Because he’s the coolest, and she loves being with him when on the hunt. Is that...good?
Ahahahaha, yes, that’s like a ten on the brilliance scale, Jade. That’s fucking awesome. And yeah, see, every night they trot out their doors and go dance under the moon as they sniff each others butts and scent out poor hapless animals.